I never liked to play games and had no tolerance for anyone playing games with me.
During my last year at college, I went to a job fair on campus and was recruited by one of the U.S. government’s 3-letter intelligence agencies. They were interested in me mostly for my language ability and the fact that I had grown-up overseas.
After an initial interview in Denver, I was provided with an airplane ticket to the Washington DC area and told to check into a specific hotel. I was to meet with a person the following morning who would arrange for my transportation to the agency’s headquarters to undergo testing and further interviews.
Travel went without a hitch. The following morning, I boarded a bus with a dozen candidates similar to myself and off we went. After clearing security, we went on an escorted tour of the facilities, which were impressive. We met with several individuals who explained the history and the objectives of the agency. We were then broken down into smaller groups and given a series of tests that were designed to identify our respective strengths and weaknesses. Following lunch, we were put through a series of interviews, followed by a polygraph exam. It was here where the games began.
I was placed in a small room with a table, two chairs and a polygraph machine. There was a large window with what appeared to be a mirror, but was obviously one-way glass. The room was hotter than normal, but the examiner explained that the air conditioning could cause false reads on the machine, so they requested to turn it off. Even after removing my suit coat and loosening my tie, I was uncomfortable and began sweating.
Prior to the polygraph examination, I was presented with a questionnaire that I was expected to fill out and the polygraph examiner would then draw his questions based on my responses. One of the questions asked me to identify my age at the time and the person to whom I had lost my virginity – first and last name. While I had no problem providing the age, I felt that the identity of the person was irrelevant, so I left that portion blank. Another question asked me about drug use, to which my truthful response was that I had never tried any illegal substances.
Prior to hooking me up to the machine, the polygraph examiner asked me why I had left the name of the person to whom I had lost my virginity blank. I responded that I felt that it was none of their business. After repeated pressure, I still failed to provide the name of the person.
The polygraph examiner then asked me about drug use, stating that he did not believe my response that I had never tried drugs. He specified that he was even referring to marihuana, to which I stated that I had never tried marihuana or any other form of illegal substances. He accused me of lying and stated that he would find out for sure during the exam.
I was then hooked up to the machine and asked a series of questions to which I was told to always respond yes. The questions were designed to see how my body reacted when I told the truth and when I told a lie – was my name was Christopher Macolini? Was I a female? Was I born in the United States? Was I a Chinese national? After fine-tuning the machine, the real questions started.
While the questions were varied, there seemed to be an inordinate amount of questions surrounding sex and drugs – had I ever forced anyone to have sex against their will? Had I ever engaged in rough sex? Had I ever had a homosexual experience? Had I ever had sex with a minor? Had I ever consumed drugs? Had I ever sold drugs? Had I ever forced anyone to take drugs? Had I ever abused anyone who was incapacitated due to drugs? The questions seemed to focus around those two subjects.
Following the test, the examiner left the room for about thirty minutes, during which time I was left sitting in the heat, still hooked up to the machine and sweating. When he returned, he claimed that I had been untruthful in two areas – in the questions regarding sex and the questions regarding drugs.
The examiner asked me if I had any sexual hang-ups or whether I had been raped as a child. He also “suggested” that I come clean regarding my drug history as there was obviously something that I was not being truthful about. I repeated my responses that I had no issues with sex and had never tried any type of illegal substance. After continuing to push, the examiner stated that he would give me one more chance and would repeat the exam, but that I would have to agree to be truthful this time. I told him that I had been truthful all along, but agreed to undergo the test a second time.
The questions on the second test were identical to those on the first, as were my responses. Following the test, the examiner again left the room. I unhooked myself from the polygraph machine and stood in the corner, drenched with sweat.
After about 45 minutes, the examiner returned, once again claiming that I had been untruthful in my answers. This time, however, he was quite a bit more aggressive in his demeanor, and actually said to me “tell me about your drug habit, you fucking faggot”.
Patience was never my strong point, and after a long day of activities and more than three hours in that hot room, my patience had reached its end. I shot across the room, threw the examiner against the wall, cocked my hand back and was getting ready to punch him in the face, when something inside me just said “the hell with it – it’s not worth it”. I turned around, grabbed my jacket and headed for the door. As I was leaving, the examiner said “We’ve had enough for today, we can continue this tomorrow”. Without acknowledging him, I kept walking towards the door.
I went back to the hotel, collected my luggage and headed for the airport, returning home that same evening.
A few days later, the local recruiter called and left me a message stating that the whole point of the exercise was to see how well I handled pressure, and that in their eyes, I had failed on that point. They may have been right, but there was no way that I would allow myself to be abused by anyone, much less by a potential employer. The recruiter recommended that I try again the following year. It never once crossed my mind…